selfishness

INot a lot has been happening around here due to D and I being sick off and on for about the last month, up until about a week ago. Little did I know iwas on my way to serious attitude adjustment and I mean serious. I was starting to feel stressed and out of sorts, so I requested a spanking from D who was still feeling not to great, I realise now that I gave no consideration to that fact. A mild argument ensued, and no spanking was received. A few days later I was lying on the bed watching tv when D walked in and calmly said " get my things and the bench out, it is time. As soon D finished attaching the last restraint that's when I realized that I had been very selfish and only thinking of myself. I was beginning to feel sorry for the way I had acted but not as sorry as I would feel after D had finished with me. She had me on the bench for about 30 minutes and she didn't waste any of it. She used her big zebrawood paddle and of course her little stinger paddle, I definitely felt both of them. When she had finished she released me and sat on the bed. I went to her and gave a hug and kiss and apoligised and thanked her paddling my ass. She comforted me as I lay there sobbing and when I finally calmed down D instructed me to put everything away. That was wed of last week. On sat of last week we had decided to go out and dinner together as D would be leaving sun morning to go stay at her mothers house for a few days to help her get ready for the holidays. As of lately i have been being rather forgetful, not doing things that i said i would or things that D had asked me to do. I dont know what the problem is i guess i just havent been very focused, but little did i know D was going to help become focused again. We went to the resturant that we went to on very first date, we had a good time, it brought back alot of old memories. When we got back home we changed into something more comfortable and began watching tv. After about 45 min D insturcted me to get the stuff out,but not the benxh because she would be putting me on the wall tonight and get ready because she was going to help me remember to do the things that she had asked me to do while she was gone. After preparing everything for her i heard those 3 words thats always gives me sinking feeling in my gut" it is time". After she had my hands restrained to the wall and my feet to the floor she placed the hood over my head and asked" do remember what you are supposed to do while i am gone?" Well i was completely at a loss for words, so she laid into me furiously with her big zebrawood paddle. After about 20 real hard swats she stopped and asked me again, and i could only remember one of the things she had asked me to do, that did not sit well with D and i knew i would not be sitting well for awhile when she was finished withme. So she started paddling me again and asking me if i remembered yet,i didnt. She scolded and spanked till i remembered evrything i was supposed to do, my apoligies and crying fell on deaf ears, she was not stopping until she was sure that i would remember everything. She finally gave herself and i a break, when she came over to me she said " now u remembered everything u are supposed to do while i am gone but do you remember what you are not supposed to do while im gone?" I couldnt remember she she laid into me again and kept asking me. After a few minutes iremembered and said " im not supposes to touch myself" and she "right your not going are you" and promised her i wouldnt over and over again, finally she relented. She finaolly let me down off the wall, i was still crying and aplogising to her. D cleaned off my ass which was bruised and bleeding and then she sat on the bed next to me comforting me until i regained my composure. I have posted apicture of the results of these two spanking, if u look close u can see the briuses on the lower part of ass from the first spanking and the second spanking is pretty obivious. When i am on the bench D seems to focus on my sit spot more than when i am standing. When iam standing she focuses more on the upper part of my ass. Im sure i will be posting again soon, the day after D left i touched myself,and when itold her she was not very happy about it. She has yet to tell what i will be recieving but im sure its going to be most unpleasant!!! Thx for reading......B

Something New and Upleasant!!!!

Last week D and i talking about the up coming weekend, she had invited her mother to come and stay the weekend and i was going hunting. I dont really remember what were talking about, but one thing lead to other and i was wisecracking about something and D said "you better be careful or i will make you stay home and keep you tied up all weekend". I said what about your mother and she replied"i can put u in the basement she never goes down there" i replied theres nothing down there to tie me too. She thought about it for a minute and said" maybe i should have you put some hooks in the ceiling down there and i can hang from them all weekend". I thought about it for a few seconds and decided i didnt want any part of that, but without really thinking about, i offered to put some hooks in the wall in our bedroom,she imediately agreed that would be a good idea. So little did i know i would regret ever making that suggestion.
Yesterday i took off work early to get some things done around the house and after arriving home D asked where the hooks in the wall were at,thats when i knew she would be paddling me today. So i got work on putting up the hooks and when i had finished i brought D to the bedroom and showed her my handiwork,she approved. We sat down on bed and began dicussing the things we wanted to get done around the house today which led into D bringing up that she had asked me to do a few things for that still had not gotten done and that she had reminded on several occasions. I apoligised and said i would take care of it right now, D announced it was to late for that and she was going help me remember to do things that i said i would and motivate me to get them done today. She said you are not going to like it, its going to be very unpleasant, so u can think about it this weekend while you are hunting too. Same arrangement this coming weekend as last.

D put the cuffs,the hood and the gag on me,led me to the wall and attached my cuffs to hooks and pulled my underwear down to my ankles.The hooks were at just the right hieght to make me stand up on my toes a little bit. Then i could hear her retrieving the paddles she would be using on me. Since this was a new position she wanted to make sure she found the right paddle for task at hand. She gave a couple of swats with all of them, but the winners were her leather frat paddle with the metal stud and of course het little stinger paddle. I later found out that she had decided to give me about thirty minutes worth,D dosent assign a number of swats that i will recieve,she decides how long the spanking will last and what i get is what i get. She never tells me how long it will last, i just have to find out for myself. So she got started with her two paddles, let me tell you it was brutal right from the begining. After only a few swats she had me dancing and screaming. After a couple of minutes she relented, my ass was on FIRE, but she only stopped long enough to get a damp towel rub my ass with in preperation for the next round. She started again and had me dacing again after only a few swats. The whole thing lasted maybe ten minutes, but it was probably the worst spanking D has ever given me so far. Usually it takes atleast thirty to sixty minutes for D to get the results shes looking for, but as you can see in the pictures i posted it only took ten minutes in this position.

Afterwards i expressed my dislike for this position, D merely said" to bad, i like and thats what matters and you will be on the wall alot in the future and trust me, your not gonna like it as it will last much longer than this time did". She also said checking my as upon my return from hunting this sunday and if she is dissatisfied i will be right back on the wall for some more of what i got the first time. Hopefully that will not be the case but if thats what has be done then so be it. I live to please D. Well gotta go, thanks for reading. B

stressed!!!!

Last week started out pretty rough,i was overly stessed and it was only tuesday. I talked to D about how i was feeling and i had at work the last two days and that made me feel a little better,but i needed more and i think D was aware of that,but nothimg was said about it in our conversation. So i approached D alittle while later and asked her if she would restrain me gor a little while in hopes of clearing my head, D responded "of course i will", i dont think D mind doing this for me, but i think she likes it when i ask her for it rather than offering it. In the meantime i had retrieved the gag, hood,and the wrist and ankle cuffs and aced them on the bed. When D returned to the bedroom she noticed that the wrist and ankle cuffs were attached to a steel ring about an inch and a half in diameter, i had done this to keep them organised,little did i know, that litttle ring would be trouble for me shortly. D stood there looking at the cuffs and then picked them up and said" we are going to try something diiferent this time. She put all the cuffs on me and then she hooded and gagged me. Normally she would lock my wrists to my ankles each side seperately which would allow me some movment, but not this time, she hooked all four to that damn steel ring, which took away any movement i had previously. After D had me locked down, she went into the kitchen to leave me with my thoughts. A short while later she returned and began to dig through our toy bag, i suspected i was in for more thsn i bargined for. She then sat on the bed next to me asked if i was alright, i answered "yes" the best i could with the gag in my mouth. D then began lightly run her fingernails up and down my back for a few minutes,it felt great, it was so relaxing i wasnt aware that she had slid my underwear down to my knees,next thing i know she is rubbing my ass with her big zebra wood paddle,that difinitely got my attention. She gave me about 40 or 50 swats with it and switched to her stinger paddle,i dont have a clue how long that went on, it seemed like forever. When D had finished with me she quietly got up and left me there to think about what had just happened. About ahalf hour later she returned to free me, i immediately went to her and hugged and thanked her for paddling my ass. After laying there for a little while embraced with her, i began getting upset and started crying and D comforted as she always does. She always knows how to make me feel better...... thx for reading,,,B

Better late than never

Well last weekend came and went, and no punishments applied. Which was good and bad, my ass didnt hurt all week, but i was rather stressed throughout the week, but that was all taken care this past weekend. Last fri D informed me that i difinitely would be recieving punishment this weekwnd, that statement came shortly after i presented D with a new zebrawood paddle ghat i had been working on for her for some time. fri and saturday came and went again with still no punishment, i was beginning to wonder what was going on. Bright and early sunday morning i awoke to D telling it was time for my spanking. D instructed me to get the wrist and ankle cuffs out as she she would be paddling me on the bed this morning, then she instructed me to get the hood, the new paddle, her oak paddle with the holes, and of course her little stinger paddle. After all of her things had been retrived, she instructed me to put the cuffs on and kneel on the bed, she left me kneeling on the bed for about ten minutes while she went into the kitchen, upon her return she handed me the hood, i put it on, then she shackled my hand and anklea together. D promptly got down too business, u wanna talk about a rude awakening. she paddled my ass with extreme predjice for about thirty minutes using all three paddles, my ass was on fire and stinging very bad, but D finally relented. D left me there for a few minutes and began to inspect her handiwork, she had a displeased look on her face, i knew that couldnt be good for me. We had some running to do, so i got dressed and we headed out to do our errands. A rew houds later we were wandering around the hardware store and out of the blue D asked me if my butt still hurt and like a big dummy i replied not really, i would later find out that was big mistake. When we returned home D told me drop my pants she wanted to see my ass again, so naturally i complied,she was not happy at all. D said" i cant believe its not even hardly red, well i guess i will have to do it again and you count on being tied down to the bench and im gonna paddle your ass till its dripping blood and your crying like a little girl, mister"!!!!! Let me tell you, she did just that, sooner than i expected too. Monday morning i came home work early and was promptly Instructed to get the bench ready because my ass was going to be paddled, throughly!! So D shackled me to the bench, hooded me and promtly got down to the task at hand, once again she was relentless, she gave me about twenty minutes with her new paddle, which she decided worked much beter when i was on the bench and she was standing over me adminstering. That paddle hurts, alot, it has thud of hardwood and the sting of soft wood it difinitely makes lasting impression. After a short break, D was back at it for another twenty minutes or so with her holey oak paddle. Saving the best for last, in her opinion, after another short break,she went to work with little stinger paddle. If i wasnt crying and pleading before, i was now. She had me crying and squealing almost immediately after starting with her little paddle, it seemed like hours until she was finished,but was actually about twenty minutes. She turned up the lights and inspected my ass again, and seemed very pleased this time. It took me a few minutes to regain my composure in order to get off the bench, so D came back over and gave me one hard swat with each one of the paddles,then i was able to get right up. I headed over to bed to lay down and D stopped me and said" you need to go get a towel and get it wet and bring it to me, while getting a towel i asked D what it for and she replied" its for your ass" naturally i reached around and touched it and sure enough there was blood on it. She really did paddle my ass till it was dripping blood and difinitely had me crying like a little girl, when D wants results, D gets results. D gave my very sore butt some aftercare,then told me i could pleasure myself if i wanted to,naturallg i agreed. She told me i had to have something in my ass and my hands cuffed, so D took care of that for me,and i started with D watching closely. After 5 minutes of stroking my cock,D pushed my hands over my head and took over, she always has to be in control. After anout 10 minutes my cock felt like it was going to explode, next thing i know D is climbing on top of my rock hard member,she began ride it like there was no tomorrow, minutes later she brouhht me to a mind blowing orgasm that left me convulsing on the bed for atleast 5minutes. D gave me a few minutes to recover and said get and put my things away then get dressed and lets get to work, so we spent the rest of the day doing things around the house. D is a very good motivator,no more spankings were needed, lucky for me. Thx for reading,,,,,,,B

things are changing

After last weekends spanking i was rubbing my ass, and D asked me what i was doing and i said" my ass is on fire and im rubbing it, D replied " stop right now ,there will no more of that, not without my permission and while we are on that topic there will be no touching yourself or masterbating without my permission. When it needs to be done,i will take care of that unless i give you permission to do it yourself. If you do it without permission and lie to me i will know, mister! All i can say is wow, were did that come from. When i first approached D about spanking me i guess i kinda hoped it would turn into something like a domestic discipline situition or something along those lines. I figured if it was to happen, it would slowly evolve into such. When D placed those rules on me i was totally caught off gaurd by it. Maybe D is warming up to the idea of a d/d sititution, if so, shes difinitely jumping in feet first. If that is what is happening, then im probably in big trouble,D can be very firm and demanding when she wants to be,but on the other hand she is a very caring person. There is a possiblity that she just wants to take care of these things for me,which she already does just not at the frequency i prefer, hence the self pleasure comea into play. I will just have wait and see how this progresses. D has promised me that i will be gettingpumished this weekend, and i gotta say im a little nervous after what i received last weekend,its now fri and my ass is almost healed from last weekend,she really gave it to me good, it difintely made a lasting impression,its been on my mind all week. The question is,will D be harsher this week,will she impose more rules on me,is she gonna make my ass bleed or make it black and blue, i dont know, but i have been thinking about it all week. It should be an interesting weekend though. Tues and wed pretty rough days for me at work and i was rather stressed, i really try not to bring that stuff home with me but sometimes it cant be helped. Wed night D and i were laying in bed watching tv, when we began to discuss why i was so stressed,so i explained what had happened at work on those days,we talked about it for a little while and i asked if i could be resrained for a little while,D promptly replied"no, your gonna have to wait till friday" needless to say i was kinda bummed,that does wonders for my stress when D restrains like that,its gives me a chance to let go and give up control or regain control of my emotions. Well gotta go for now, i will post next week about this weekend happenings. If you read this blog plz leave a comment. Thx for reading, B

punishment recieved!!!

The week end has come and gone and of course my ass is very sore. I was expecting D to jump right in on fri night but that was not the case this weekend.friday was a short workday for me so when i got home D found plenty of work to do around the house, the whole time i was expecting D to come in at any minute and tell me that it was time for my spanking and to go get everything ready but that never happened. Later on that evening we ordered take out and i thougjt for sure the announcement would come after we had finished eating,but it never did.after dinner we adjourned to the bedroom to watch some tv,we had been in there for and hour or so and i said something like " do want me to get the bench out" D merely said no ,im tired maybe tomorrow if you get all your work done. So i knew what i would be doing tomorrow and needless to say i was not very excited,but thats what D wanted, so thats what D would get. The next morning i awoke around 8am got up and got to work. Iworked all thru the day and into the evening. Iwas going to be grilling steaks for dinner tonite, one of D and i favorite things. Shortly before i started cooking ,D anounced that she would be paddling my ass tonite and i should go get the bench ready. so i went to prepare everything for her, then got on fixing dinner. We enjoyed our dinner together,theres nothing better than a big fat steak and a baked potatoe.after dinner we went to the bedroom and showered, D's back was bothering her i suggested a massage,D agreed that was a good idea. Our spanking bench works great as a massage table also, so i got D on the bench and gave her about a 45min massage,she was most appreciative,feeling much looser she told me it was my turn to get on the bench. She informed me that she would doing things a little differently this time. D likes to see results, she wants my ass to be stinging like its on fire and red as can be, so she would be using her new leather paddle and her stinger paddle that i made for her. Let me tell u, that stinger paddle does just that,STING, i was not looking forward to this paddling. I took my place on the bench and D put the restranits on me and now was in complete control,just the way she likes it. I have devised four restraints for our bench and when all four are used there is no chance of escape, no movement no anything, im not getting up until D allows me too.she placed the hood me but no gag, she said wanted to hear screams and crying this time. D got down to business immediately, she was rerentless for about 20 minutes it seemes like hours to me, finally she
let up to take a break which i difinitely needed,my ass felt like somebody was holding a blow torch on it. After about 5min D was back at it again,she gave another 10mins worth, my ass hurt so bad i cant even describe it. D repeated this 2 more times,then left me there to think about my bad behavior this past week, i feel that i deserved everything i got. After 15 or20 mins D came back to inspect the rezults of her work,she was pleased. D put some lotion on my ass and rubbed it for a few minutes,and freed me from my restraints. It took me a minute or two to regain my composure enough to get up, i cant take to long getting up off the bench or D will take it as a sign that i need more and she will be right back over paddling my ass again.a few minutes later we were on the bed relaxing, i started to take my cuffs and D immediately asked me what i was doing and i replied " taking these off " her response was " no your not, im not finished with you yet" so i left cuffs in place and awaited my fate. To my surpise i was not being paddled again but i was being rewarded, D was going to allow me to have an orgasm. Recently we purchased a prostrate stimulator and D fell in love with it immediately, she can bring me to orgasm of severe intensity,its unbeliveable!!!! After lubing up my ass good she shackled my hands and ankles together and went to work on me, after a few minutes she began to stroke my cock, and then it started to build. After about 15 min she brought me to the most unbelievable orgasms i've ever had, i must have rolled around on the bed for atleast 10 min afterwords moaning, groaning and convulsing,this is what D likes to see. Finally i had calm down enough to carry on a conversation and that was when D informed me that we still had more work to do tomorrow morning before we had to leave for a family function in the afternoon. So the next morning i woke up feeling rather lazy,i just couldnt get motivated,but was more than happy to motivate me,she had me put on the wrist cuffs and bring her little stinger paddle to her. D told me to lay across the bed in front her,and she said " u better not move either, u need to be more discplined in following my request, and we are going to work on that" then she applied about 40 or 50 swats to already burning ass,she had me squealing immediately. Needless to say i was very motivated when she had finished and was ready to start cleaning. D imformed me that we would be cleaning the floor first in the front room which tends to neglected from time to time and needs to be scrubed by hand either sitting down or on ur hands and knees,well i was les than excited about this, D noticed and offered to bring her paddle for any on the spot motivation that may be needed,fortunately for me none was needed.when we were getting ready to leave for the family function, i was puttin aways D's toys and got to her little stinger paddle, i noticed something on it so i asked D about it,and she calmly said "thats your blood i made your ass bleed,did i tell how much i like that paddle" i replied yes u did. Well thats about it for now gotta go.if u read my blog please leave a comment as i havent gotten any yet and would like know what evwrybody thinks. Thanka for reading B...

I have made a huge mistake!!!!

D and i were discussing going away for the weekend the other day,but decided to stay home instead as we would have the house to ourselfs. We had done some shopping last week which had produced some items for D's arsenal which icluded a spandex hood, an inflatable buttplug and leather frat paddle covered in metal studs, which we are going to tryout this weekend. So, on to my mistake, as i've stated in previous posts, i have a checkered past prior the meeting D, and have been feeling remorseful about those past indecresions. One of those things was being respectful and considerate of other people feelings. What happened was we were returning frm a doctors appt and somebody pulled out in front of me and wouldnt let me pass, and in the instantly i reverted back to my old ways, which was a serious error in judgement on my part, so D made comment to me reguarding my handling of sitaution,i defended myself from her comments,ahe got upset and starting crying. I apoligized to her a few minutes later when i came to my senses, but that wasnt cutting it with D this time. I truly regret upsetting her like that,i guess i just lost control for few minutes, i do feel really bad about the whole situition.finally after we had been home for a little while D began to calm down and i apoligized many more times, but i was beginning to get the feeling that was not gonna cut it this time.that night D made a comment to me that i will never forget, she said"this weekend when i have tied down ro the spanking bench im gonna remember how mean you were to me" right then and there i knew i had made a huge mistake. I asked her what she was gonna do to me, which normally she would have no problem telling me what was gonna happen to me, not this time,D merely said "you are gonna have wait and see what i have planned for you, and i can assure it will not be pleasant and maybe i will make you choose what u think is apporiate in order to redeem yourself"so ive been thinking long and hard about my situition and whether she decides or i decide im in for a long weekend. I love my wife very much and everything gives me this weekend, i deserve and i know it will help me to be a better person. Sometimes when im overly stressed D gags and restrains me on the bed for an hour or two, and sometimes i request it. This is a great help in getting my mind clear,sometimes d feels i need some extra help getting my mind clear,she might paddle my ass or put something in my ass,she might get her strapon out and give me good buttfucking. The other day i made such a request and D was willing to do this for me. But apparently she had other plans for me after she had me restrained. She put the spandex hood on me and got out her new leather paddle with the metal studs, D had decided i was going get a taste of her new paddle early in order to help clear my mind, but i think she just couldnt wait to use it. So i recieved about 30 or 40 swats, believe me that was just a taste of it, there will be many more to come this weekend im sure. It left no marks on my ass, D was not happy about that, im sure that wont be the case after this weekend.the last time we had a weekend like this one my ass was bruised and sore for two weeks. The strange thing was after D gave those 30 or 40 swats she untied me and went to the kitchen to get something to drink and by time she had returned i was completly broken down,lying on the bed crying and sobbing feeling very remorsful. That first time that has happened, i ve been in that state during a spanking but never after one. D comforted me for awhile and then told me it was time to go sleep because it was late and i had to get up early for work. Well gotta go for now. If u read my blog please leave a comment,i am new to blogging and would like to hear what you think,also working on getting pics and vid on here too. Thx,,,B