selfishness

INot a lot has been happening around here due to D and I being sick off and on for about the last month, up until about a week ago. Little did I know iwas on my way to serious attitude adjustment and I mean serious. I was starting to feel stressed and out of sorts, so I requested a spanking from D who was still feeling not to great, I realise now that I gave no consideration to that fact. A mild argument ensued, and no spanking was received. A few days later I was lying on the bed watching tv when D walked in and calmly said " get my things and the bench out, it is time. As soon D finished attaching the last restraint that's when I realized that I had been very selfish and only thinking of myself. I was beginning to feel sorry for the way I had acted but not as sorry as I would feel after D had finished with me. She had me on the bench for about 30 minutes and she didn't waste any of it. She used her big zebrawood paddle and of course her little stinger paddle, I definitely felt both of them. When she had finished she released me and sat on the bed. I went to her and gave a hug and kiss and apoligised and thanked her paddling my ass. She comforted me as I lay there sobbing and when I finally calmed down D instructed me to put everything away. That was wed of last week. On sat of last week we had decided to go out and dinner together as D would be leaving sun morning to go stay at her mothers house for a few days to help her get ready for the holidays. As of lately i have been being rather forgetful, not doing things that i said i would or things that D had asked me to do. I dont know what the problem is i guess i just havent been very focused, but little did i know D was going to help become focused again. We went to the resturant that we went to on very first date, we had a good time, it brought back alot of old memories. When we got back home we changed into something more comfortable and began watching tv. After about 45 min D insturcted me to get the stuff out,but not the benxh because she would be putting me on the wall tonight and get ready because she was going to help me remember to do the things that she had asked me to do while she was gone. After preparing everything for her i heard those 3 words thats always gives me sinking feeling in my gut" it is time". After she had my hands restrained to the wall and my feet to the floor she placed the hood over my head and asked" do remember what you are supposed to do while i am gone?" Well i was completely at a loss for words, so she laid into me furiously with her big zebrawood paddle. After about 20 real hard swats she stopped and asked me again, and i could only remember one of the things she had asked me to do, that did not sit well with D and i knew i would not be sitting well for awhile when she was finished withme. So she started paddling me again and asking me if i remembered yet,i didnt. She scolded and spanked till i remembered evrything i was supposed to do, my apoligies and crying fell on deaf ears, she was not stopping until she was sure that i would remember everything. She finally gave herself and i a break, when she came over to me she said " now u remembered everything u are supposed to do while i am gone but do you remember what you are not supposed to do while im gone?" I couldnt remember she she laid into me again and kept asking me. After a few minutes iremembered and said " im not supposes to touch myself" and she "right your not going are you" and promised her i wouldnt over and over again, finally she relented. She finaolly let me down off the wall, i was still crying and aplogising to her. D cleaned off my ass which was bruised and bleeding and then she sat on the bed next to me comforting me until i regained my composure. I have posted apicture of the results of these two spanking, if u look close u can see the briuses on the lower part of ass from the first spanking and the second spanking is pretty obivious. When i am on the bench D seems to focus on my sit spot more than when i am standing. When iam standing she focuses more on the upper part of my ass. Im sure i will be posting again soon, the day after D left i touched myself,and when itold her she was not very happy about it. She has yet to tell what i will be recieving but im sure its going to be most unpleasant!!! Thx for reading......B